Quench
Little Miss Blind Date’s (Achievable) Dating Resolutions 2007
1. Lay the Mr Darcy fantasy to rest. Yes, he may have been brooding and quite sexy, particularly in the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice when he emerges from the lake, but he’s the fictional creation of a Victorian spinster. In reality, a grumpy, socially inept partner is probably not what anyone is looking for. After all, we never did find out about what happened after he got together with Elizabeth…..
2. Broaden your dating horizons. Just because he doesn’t look achingly indie/ she’s not Scarlett Johansson, doesn’t mean to say that you won’t hit it off. If you’ve been having problems finding your perfect partner, consider what matters more, image or individuality. In reality, there is no such thing as a ‘type’; so get out there and start talking to someone that you wouldn’t normally. You might be surprised by what you find.
3. Don’t pretend to be perfect and judge someone else because they’ve got wonky eyebrows/eat with their mouth wide open/laugh like Janice out of Friends. Focus on the fact that they do make you laugh, perhaps so much so that you snort your pint out of your nose.
4. Don’t worry about the future. If you’re single, get out and date. Even if you don’t hit it off immediately, you’ve spent time getting to know a potentially very interesting person. If it doesn’t work out, you’re not a failure because after all, everyone’s different. If you’re in a relationship, don’t put on the pressure; just enjoy each other’s company. Things always work out in the end if you really want them to.
5. Ask out someone you fancy. It’s terrifying and yes, they may not have a clue you exist, but the worst they can say is no. If you don’t do it, you’ll always wonder about what could have happened. Even if they do say no, I expect secretly they’ll be pretty flattered. I mean, who doesn’t appreciate being told that someone likes them?
Unlike trying to squeeze myself into a pair of ridiculously skinny jeans, or trying to run a marathon on a curry and a bellyful of beer a la Jade Goody, I think I might even be able to keep a couple of these resolutions this year. Now, where’s that family bag of Walkers…
This Week
Latest Edition
How does Scotland sound?
Scotland is a country that has a surprisingly diverse array of musical talent for a country of its size. It generally lacks the powerhouses of Wales, such as your common-garden Manics and Stereophonics, instead birthing bands with smaller but equally passionate fanbases.
Mixtape 2
The alternative evening to the volume next door begins with The Spencer McGarry Season, a three man band from Cardiff, who boast a delightfully upbeat, eclectic sound, with jangly guitars and effortless vocals. Both charming and infectious, they’ll make you tap your feet, smile and bob your head like a dickhead. Maybe it’s the braces.
Mr Hudson Vs Sway - Ask the DJ re-mix
This collaboration works. Sway’s tight-fitting rapping about charity, football and his rise to success all work with the intermittent Mr Hudson lyrics. The two musical styles merge well together, as the remix is underpinned by the backing of the original song, which is invigorated by Sway’s lyrics.
In Review: Urban dictionary
In between spay-painting small horses with swastikas and sniffing glue the youth of today still like to chew the fat from time to time. Unfortunately the cretins have adopted a bizarre type of new-speak which can leave “me-mans” (myself and some of my close friends) “well vexed” (Perplexed, Peeved). That’s where the Urban dictionary comes in. With this peer monitored compendium of British and American slang you can find out what the little twazocks actually said to you before you walked off full of impotent rage and self loathing. Yay. To elaborate. After hearing a rap-tune recently I heard the word “skeet” a term with which I was unfamiliar. Consulting the Urban dictionary I discovered that skeet is a verb that describes, “Bustin’ a nut in a skizzles grill” or, the act of ejaculating onto a woman’s face. Other notable explanations submitted included the rather quaint: “To drop a banana item in Mario Kart 64, thereby causing a trailing opponent to slip on it and skid out” and the colorful “Something I would love to do on the Olsen twins. “The real fun lies in contrasting the Neanderthal with the surely mock-serious entries. Of course some helpful souls point out the real meaning of the word (something to do with clay pigeon shooting) but it is all done very tongue in cheek. A running dialogue on the site led one poster to claim it was a word which White people only heard about from the comedian Dave Chapelle. This in turn led one of his fellows to inform us that it is a completely fictional word invented by black people because they needed something to do in between collecting welfare cheques. As if via osmosis the stupidity seeps into you brain and you can impress the Gs in your hood with your newfound knowledge and/or prejudices lest ye be merced by your in the know peers.
Dazed and Diffused
Mariam Bashorun and Leah Eynon review the celebrity designed clothing lines invading the highstreet
In Review: COMMAND & CONQUER 3: TIBERIUM WARS
I’ve looked forward to this game for ages and now I’m disappointed. If this game had been released four years ago it would be hailed as one of the best RTS in history, it would have received plaudits from the most resonant of it’s critics and I would’ve been absolutely chevved.
Re-living the dream
Affable Idiot John Davies gets back to grips with old-school gaming
In Review: M.A.C.H
Modified Air Combat Heroes Is an acronym that has blatantly been reverse engineered by twatty marketing types. People who get to wear their own clothes to work and use phrases like ‘edgy’ and ‘bling’ far too much.
Arcade Fire - Intervention
As a fan of Arcade Fire, I really want to plug this single. But Intervention is not very good, sounding more like a hymn than their angry selves. There are better tracks on the album Neon Bible, so buy that instead. Or see them live.