More good stuff

This week sees the continuation of our retrospective on all things vaugely digital. Peter Kay would surely be proud of this tirade of retro tat.

11. Tamagotchis

Remember the Golden era; the Golden age of the playground? You were only cool if you had completed the whole of your Merlin football sticker album, had a troll whose eyes glowed up, and had the definitive platinum pog. True popularity and respect however cost ten big ones, but it was worth it to become the proud parent of your very own digital pet, the Tamagotchi. Responsibility for a Tamagotchi was not something to be taken lightly, you even had to ask your friends to ‘mind’ it if you went to the loo. You had to make sure the nipper was fed its yummy digital food and clean up its crap. But you could play a game with it which was a bonus. Lucy Reader

12. The Sim Series:

I am genuinely undecided as to whether I love or HATE the Sims. It has taken literally months off my life, and I have achieved nothing great as a result. But it is one of the highest selling computer games in history, so it must be doing something right. The original computer game ‘Sim city’ is definitely one of the best games I’ve played The objective was to design, build and maintain a city. There were ‘scenario’ options, based on real cities such as Tokyo, Boston and Detroit; where the player was given issues to sort out, such as traffic congestion, crime, global warming and of course the very real threat of monsters. Sounds thrilling doesn’t it?

Lucy Reader

13. L.A. Gears

I’m six and my shoes have got lights in them, my mum didn’t buy me Nike Air Max like Gavin Schnoodlesmchitt’s socialite parents did, and he gave me hell for it. But when we were both abducted by the neighbourhood White van man I used my shoes to signal my location to highly trained police snipers. They took old white van man down and brought me cocoa, a blanket and the über-rare Roland Rat action figurine. Gavin was dead by this point. His crappy Nikes air bubble had burst and given him a fatal bout of trench foot. Dom Mukwamba-Sendall

14. Remote Control Watches

In my opinion the best thing to come out of the 90s was the Casio watch with the remote control on it. Hours and hours of fun were had winding up teachers with this gem. On your wrist it masqueraded as a simple watch, but point it at a TV and you had a full remote. It was the superhero of the gadgets if you will. This contraption was Invaluable in Science lessons when you had to watch those not-so-thrilling videos about Iron Ore… you could repeatedly turn the volume up and down or switch channels to get the teacher really angry. A truly mature and sophisticated device.

Lucy Reader

15. Self Service Tills

Whereas previously in supermarkets you occasionally had to wait while a slack-jawed young woman screamed over at her colleague about an argument she had had with her boyfriend before being served now you get to witness such an event live. He wants to buy six cans of Kestrel, while she wants to invest in nappies for the children who are at that very moment being made to feel uncomfortable about their dual heritage by some loving, but very politically incorrect grandparents. Then the guy who always got bullied at school (well come on mate, look how it all turned out) refuses to authorize your own attempted purchase of Kestrel because he thinks you may once have laughed at him. Super!

Tim Scriven

16 Photoshop

Before this little application came along if you looked fat on a photo you had two options: 1. Deal with it, or 2. Gain an eating disorder and work out a lot. Then, once you’ve lost the weight kidnap anyone involved in the first photograph and meticulously recreate it. Unfortunately those who employed the second option were often dismayed by the lack of spontaneity of execution and joy on the faces of their friends in the reproduction. Photoshop offered a third option-utilise technology to delude yourself and anyone else who may come into contact with the offending image that at the time of it’s capture you were less ‘bovine-lookin’ . It features simple and easy to use, professional quality photo editing software at an affordable cost, and therein lies its success. It’s also really fun to cut and paste a picture of a friends face onto the top of a picture of an erect penis. Dom Mukwamba-Sendall

17. Digital Cameras

While the early models were cumbersome, slow and low-quality, digital cameras have evolved into the compact, fast and high-quality image fiends we know and love today. Since buying mine, I have taken thousands of pictures – everywhere from Ayers Rock to Metros – and wouldn’t be without my camera on a night out at Uni to capture those priceless drunken snaps. Sorry to all you camera purists, but no matter what you say, the digital camera is awesome and is here to stay. Richard Ward Richard Ward

18. eBay

This was bound to enter the list somewhere. There was a time when if you wanted to get hold of a particularly rare item you’d have to speak to a dodgy guy in a bar or happen upon a map. The status quo was then generally to embark on a quest filled with excitement, mild scenes of peril, distress and partial nudity. Eventually this would all culminate with a battle of some form between two or more protagonists ending in a couple of explosions and a romantic yet tasteful kiss (once the obligatory villain had been dispatched). Someone commented to me the other day that there are no good action movies coming out anymore. I now know why. If Indiana Jones wants an Arc of the Covenant he can ‘Buy It Now’ from Biblicalbargin316, and he’s a Powerseller too so Indy knows he wont stiff him on the P&P. Dom Mukwamba-Sendall

19. Leisure Suit Larry

Watch as this pixelated misogynist employs his sleazy powers to pull anatomically inconceivable pixelated women! Live vicariously through his actions! Watch every minute of his debauched pursuits! But only if you can answer such mind twisting age verification questions as “Were The Beatles a band or a poetry club?” or “Do cats really have nine lives?”

Andy Parsons

20. Championship Manager

I had a girlfriend and a clean shaven face. I now have neither of these things but I have just done the double with Torquay United. Maybe tomorrow I’ll part the Red Sea, if these bedsores stop itching.

Andy Parsons