The Final Countdown

Digital gives you the first installment of a technological breakthrough that will take you back to the day

1. Mass communication:

Mass communication is the best invention ever, including the wheel. On the internet you can download a video of a wheel crushing a pigeon, transfer it to a mobile phone and then Bluetooth it to a stranger in the pub. With that silly old wheel you’d have to do it all yourself and there’s no certainty that a compliant-enough stranger and foolish-enough pigeon would ever be sufficiently close to one another. Plus, the world was crying out for a faster and more efficient courier for violent pornography and I’m just glad it came around soon enough for me to enjoy the spectacle that is a good Hatefuck in my own parents home. Tim Scriven

2. Search Engines:

The internet is a brilliant invention that has truly changed the way in which we view the world. If you wanted to find out how the ludicrously inflated economic sanctions imposed on Germany after WW1 combined with a global recession caused the rise of Hitler you can. Alternatively you can sit back and enjoy some blaring anal pornography. The point is you have access to reams of information the world over and I can’t see how providing the public with information and letting people from rapidly diverse backgrounds interact with each other is ever a bad idea. Tim Scriven

3. University Broadband:

I am close to becoming an internet addict. I took the Internet Addiction Test (IAT) on the net, http://www.netaddiction.com/resources/internet_addiction_test.htm and scored 66; this meant that I am “experiencing occasional or frequent problems because of the internet” and that I “should consider their full impact on my life”. So I considered, as the uni pay for my broadband then surely I have not neglected academic work because they clearly want me to surf. And I haven’t become socially isolated, I just find it safer to know that I can just block a person if I they start asking me what my real name is. John Davies

4. Blogs:

Whether you’ve experienced them or not, it looks like blogs are here to stay. Many in the communications world realise that they’ve revolutionised how we understand the media and find out about current events. They’ve provided insights into huge corporations: Robert Scoble, for instance, blogged while working at Microsoft. But they’ve also allowed millions of ‘normal’ people to express themselves and connect to like-minded others across the globe – even get married to them, apparently. Now how can that be a bad thing. Well, when your boring work colleague forces you to trawl through their travel blog, for a start… Lucy Rowe

5. Google Earth:

Like Multi-Map on steroids, Google Earth affords the user bird’s-eye views of every square inch of our fair earth. A sort of amicable Big Brother, the satellite imagery allows you to zoom right in on any location you desire – which is brilliant for retracing your gap year trip, or checking out some of the Earth’s numerous natural wonders. The only downside is when your mum calls you up and gives you a hell of a fright by telling you she can see your front door. Another drawback is that George Bush likes to go ‘on the Google’ too; probably to look for new countries to invade. Richard Ward

6. Email:

If you’re looking for dodgy prescription drugs, a fake diploma and a computer virus, look no further than your own email inbox. Filters may be getting more intelligent as time goes on but the fact is that you’re still getting spam. Email is a great tool for keeping in contact with friends, family and colleagues, but it’s hard to remember this when you check your emails on your mobile and spend a ridiculous amount of money downloading numbers of emails offering ‘V14GR4’ before seeing that no one you actually know has emailed you. Shame. Lucy Rowe

7. MSN:

Where do I start – where would my life be without it? Where would any student be without it? It fills hours of time when we should be working, but are instead chatting to mates who probably only live a few doors down. If chatting is not enough to occupy our tiny little minds the amusing smilies can do the job. If it’s keeping up with those mates you’d never call, arranging nights out, or just wasting time MSN is indispensable. Chloe Adams

8. Mobile Phones:

Before mobile phones people were a lot harder to track down and it stands to reason that the only people who don’t want to be tracked down are: (a) criminals or (b) comedy dads who always try and pretend to their stereotypically- nagging wives that they are not in fact down the boozer. The mobile phone has made some people more socially engaged and generally safer. On the other hand, it has helped produce a generation of semi-literate yobs who cannot remember how to write or speak normally, so instead film themselves hitting strangers. Tim Scriven

9. Snake and the Nokia 3210:

Back in 1999 this model hit the mobile ‘phone market harder than Stan hit Ulrika (not proven). This was due to a number of things, namely it’s snazzy blue frontage, cool flattened design and the inclusion of the game ‘Snake’. Also essential to it’s popularity were the big buttons, needed for getting a high score on Snake, and a big screen so you could concentrate on playing Snake. Like Tetris, Snake’s genius was in its simplicity, and if you had any type of narcotic in your system. Snake became even better, unlike Snake 2 which was overcomplicated and too auspicious. The game Snake was also more addictive than crack spliced with those fizzy blue and pink bottles. My mate Wisey reckons he played it for so long that the snake filled up the screen once. Snake is an amazing game – if I could just have written about Snake then I would have. Tom Birts

10. Ringtones:

Let’s face it, there are few people alive who haven’t wanted to commence a killing spree after a group of people start a ‘tone-off’ in the seat next to you on a train or bus. Even worse is if you, like me, own a Sagem, who’s library of cringe worthy ringtones means that you always leave it – out of shame – on silent, and miss loads of calls. And don’t even get me started on that Crazy Frog. Richard Ward