Stand up and be counted

Andrew Mickel tests the comedy waters of Cardiff stand-up

By Andrew Mickel

The Union

The ideal option for lazy students, CF10 plays host to Comedy Network comedians on most Tuesdays. For anyone who hasn’t tested it out, then make sure you’ve been there before your NUS card becomes distant memory.

Comedians like it as the student audience tends to be largely heckle-free, so they can settle down for a nice easy night. But don’t let them off too easily. I’ve never been happier in all of my life than an evening spent drunkenly yelling the c-word at unfunny bastard Will Smith (the posh one, not the perennial cinema-botherer).

It’s a real mixed bag of comedians, from established names on the circuits to up-and-comers. And whilst for every Francesca Martinez (good thing) there’s a Dan Antopolski (pointless, hairy thing), it’s still a rock solid way to wile away a Tuesday night.

At ¬£4 it’s steep for a student night, but the Union prices at the bar mean that you can certainly make up for it in other ways. Just a word of warning, though: make sure you get there well before eight and queue your heart out, otherwise you’ll spend the night without a chair, standing up by the loos. All in all, if you can’t make it to The Wharf, it’s your best bet for comedy in Cardiff.

The Wharf

Surprisingly, considering this is a relatively new venue in Cardiff Bay, it feels as if it’s been there for decades. Maybe it’s the ease with which comedians take to the audience of regulars rather than just putting on a bog-standard act. Perhaps it’s the unbeatable mix of established names and first-timers that mix up the evening. Whatever it is, the Thursday night offerings here are the best in town.

Its bizarre layout means that you can get up close and personal with the comedy action, or hide away in its many corners if you’re new to this stand-up malarkey. And it tends to be high-calibre offerings, and none of that unfunny bastard Will Smith (enough to make you change your name if you’re a Smith. Not the black one.)

Going against it, The Wharf is an absolute nightmare to get to. Grab a map and take some of Cardiff Bus’ finest abuse to get there, but getting back is a whole other nightmare. Of course, you can head upstairs to the club and put off that problem for a few hours; but you’re just putting off the long walk home up Lloyd George Avenue.

Still, amongst the appalling range of venues in town, this stands out as an example the rest should follow.

The Glee Club

Few notice The Glee Club tucked away in Cardiff Bay, despite its central location. But, being a Bay venue, this has all the charm of unfunny bastard Will Smith (about six foot tall, foppish hair, pointless existence… you get the idea).

Of course, having huge wads of cash means that they can pull in big- name comedians. It’s certainly worth checking out the listings to see if there are any playing that you’d want to see – both Daniel Kitson and Mark Steel are slated to play in April. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to remortgage your house to be able to afford to do so.

The venue is a bizarre concoction of massive space, low roofs, and unfathomably cramped seating that fixes everyone in place like Hell’s comedy classroom. The comedians seem so disillusioned with the fact they’ve ended up performing there that they probably won’t be bothered to really interact with the audience. I once managed a solid night of revision for an International Relations exam through Jeff Green’s god-awful stand-up without raising his lazy ire once.

On the up side, you can always go early and eat the buffet. Yup, really; the food is the best thing to recommend about this truly foul venue.