Captain Planet

By TV Willy, Buried in the tundra

So then, Planet Earth. Wow. Normally when the Beeb throw a budget worth ten Graham Nortons at something it’s not usually too shoddy. It’s when they spend a reasonable sum they’re rubbish (recent examples: Just The Two Of Us and the monstrously bad Mayo; which, incidentally, I originally thought was a chat show hosted by the former Radio 1 DJ).

Anyway, Planet Earth features three things which guarantee its going to be the best thing to happen to Sunday nights since 98% of Last of the Summer Wine’s cast went to the great wheelbarrow race in the sky.

Firstly, it has big cuddly bears and wee cubs. That’s always nice.

Incidentally, I was struck by how much pandas look like they’re wearing costumes. Perhaps they all look like Chihuahuas and they know a really good fancy dress shop. Bet they were furious when they realised that the mouthpiece was only big enough for bamboo though.

Sorry, I digress. Planet Earth is also super because it features a big cuddly bear David Attenborough. He loves it. Despite the fact that he’s probably sat on a comfy settee narrating between swilling Chilean wine and cutting his toenails, Dave sounds like he’s actually in the helicopter providing live commentary on Snow Leopard versus Mountain Goat. I think it’s probably better for us to imagine he is. Better him than JONATHAN PEARCE anyway.

Finally, Planet Earth has a little DVD extra bit on the end. This shows you that rather than jet into rural Afghanistan on an Auntie-sponsored chopper, our fearless cameramen hike thorough war-zones and sit in an underground bunker for 16 years with only a termite and Osama Bin Laden for company just so they can get a shot of a rare cat. Fair enough boys, I admire your determinism, but is anyone that arsed if they’ve not seen wild wolves hunt impala in the middle of icy tundra? I’ve got better things to do, Mayo’s on in a minute.

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